My adult son has a drug addiction for which he is in treatment. My family and I just met his daughter, who we only recently heard about. She is 6 years old. I celebrated his birthday at my house. My mother (the great-grandmother) took photos of the birthday girl and her friends and posted them on social media. I asked her before the party started not to post pictures of the kids on social media. She said she did whatever she wanted.
I don’t believe photos of children under 18 should be posted on social media, and if so, especially since we just met my granddaughter. She did not have permission from the mothers of the other children to publish. I feel like my mom disrespected my house and my rules, and I need to know how to handle future events. Please help.
I was raised to respect my parents, but it’s a deal breaker, and I’m seriously considering not including it in future events involving the kids.
– Deal-Breaker in New Mexico
Your mother has made it clear that your wishes and rules mean nothing to her – she does what she wants. Now is the time to exercise your good judgment and do what YOU want. If you think she might do something that would endanger the children, exclude her by all means from events involving them.
After three years together, my boyfriend and I have decided to amicably part ways once we have finished our studies. I bought him an expensive engraved pocket knife as a graduation present, but there was a delay and it didn’t arrive until we graduated and he returned to his home country. origin in Europe. I forwarded it to him with a card when I received it. Unfortunately, when the box arrived in his country a month later, it was empty except for the map. Someone had stolen my gift.
We both filed complaints with the post offices in our countries, to no avail. Should I buy him a new one, or is the time gone? While the knife was expensive, it wasn’t so expensive that I couldn’t afford another one, and he pointed out that he didn’t expect a replacement. What is the right thing to do? The gift was meant to be a memento of her graduation and our relationship, but it’s odd to repeat the exercise now that we’re apart. What do you think?
— The time has passed
Because your ex-boyfriend has made it clear that he doesn’t expect a replacement, let’s leave the matter unfinished. Allow his college memories – and you – to be his memories. They are most important because they cannot be stolen.
I’ve been with someone for seven years. From the start, he said he wasn’t the jealous type. He says when we are out, flirting is OK because we are going home together, and if someone wants a kiss, I have to give it. What do you think about this? I’m not in favor of it.
— Heartbroken in Florida
So this man says you two can, I guess, flirt and kiss each other? What I “think” is that no matter how long you’ve been together, that person isn’t interested in an exclusive relationship, and if that’s what you want, maybe it’s time to find someone whose values more closely mirror yours.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.