Dear Abby: Girlfriend’s need for adoration on social media makes boyfriend question their relationship

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating the same woman for over two years. She is a beautiful lady who has quite a few male Facebook “fans”, most of them before we met. What bothers me, and I don’t understand why, is his habit of posting selfies and then liking other men’s comments on his look. We have discussed this several times, but it just can’t seem to stop.

Other than that, we seem to have a healthy relationship with occasional and normal hiccups. I’d love to take it to the next level, but I can’t help but wonder if the Facebook habit is a sign that she needs more than our relationship gives her. Please advise. – HESITANT IN OHIO

DEAR HESITANT: Her Facebook habit can be a sign that your friend is insecure – or conceited – about her appearance, which is why she encourages these “fans” by “cheering” on their comments. Frankly, it’s sad that she needs more validation than she can get from one person, but she’s the woman you’re involved with. If she saw these men in the real world, I would say you have a serious problem. But it isn’t, so it shouldn’t pose a threat unless you do.

DEAR ABBY: My grandson, who I haven’t seen for 10 years, is getting married to a girl I don’t know. My husband, “Hank”, and I are invited to the wedding. We live 1,000 kilometers away, so we have to book a flight, book a hotel, and pay for all of our meals.

Hank has been waiting three months for a date for knee surgery. Most of the time he is in pain, especially when he walks. My daughter thinks we should postpone her surgery to attend the wedding. What do you think? – DEBATE IN THE SOUTH

DEBATE: Of course, your daughter wants her father at her son’s wedding. That she was disappointed – as you both would – is understandable. But does she really want him to limp, wince, and in constant pain? Remind him that it took three months for this operation to be scheduled. Tell him that you will be with them in spirit on their special day, but that his father’s health must come first. So stick to your guns.

DEAR ABBY: I work in a small office of 15 people. The person next to me is diabetic and wears a beep that rings all day. Am I supposed to endure that annoying sound even though she can vibrate it? – DISTURBED IN TEXAS

DEAR DISTURBED: No, you are not. Ask your coworker if setting her beep to vibrate would work for her, as the sound distracts you. If she is ready to do so, your problem is solved. However, if not, it may be time to discuss this with your supervisor or employer, as it may be possible to move your workstation to another area.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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